Its fair to say when I became pregnant with my first child I knew very little about babies. I was the first of my friends to have children, and had never really been around small babies or children before.

I thought very naively that when I had my baby the baby weight would be gone a few days later, that babies were meant to just feed and sleep in those first few months. I envisaged beautiful long walks with my baby sleeping soundly in her pram with my long flowing hair blowing in the wind, and breast feeding my baby with no problems at all . Oh hang on WAKE UP!!

After I gave birth I ballooned up with I swear enough fluid inside me to fill an entire swimming pool.  I still had a big fat jelly belly. I had brought in my pre-pregnancy clothes to wear home, and beautiful but impractical clothes for my daughter. What the hell was I thinking?

My milk didn’t come in until day 5, and I wondered why my poor bubba would not stop screaming. I remember sitting on my bed in tears along with my new born daughter (also in tears) longing for my carefree life back.

My boobs were so painful and were as big as watermelons. When I mentioned this to hubby expecting a sympathetic response he laughed saying I looked a little like a porn star. I bawled even more. (Mental note boys – do not say this to your wife if you ever want a show of having baby #2).

When my milk finally came through I recall sitting on the couch breastfeeding my daughter. Hubby had gone to pick up my mum who was arriving from down south. I was just getting the hang of breastfeeding, and being a really hot night had my tee-shirt off being ‘au naturel’.

The door bell rang.

Damn…quickly take the baby off, put on bra and tee shirt and open the door to my two young male neighbours who came bearing gifts of a huge teddy bear.  I invited them inside and they made all the right noises saying how cute my daughter was.

All this time they avoided looking at me.

Strange I thought. They stayed a short time then made their excuses to leave. I thanked them for their present and saw them out.

Get back inside and catch a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror.

My tee shirt had somehow got stuck on my feeding bra which I hadn’t done up properly in my haste and I was now exposing part of my boob!

Yip … no glamorous TV advert here sorry.

Do you have any funny stories which happened to you in those early days? I would love to hear about them.






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